It started slowly, sometime last year, with an occasional email announcing another follower. Only the user name was usually gibberish, and almost always from outlook.com. Opening the email inbox was sort of like opening that fancy wrapped present on Christmas morning, only to find it contained a single pair of white socks. Hopeful anticipation dashed by the cold water firehose of reality. The audience remained “a party of one”. No throngs of humans, hanging on my every word. Just bots. And more bots.
Once I got used to them, obviously they spread the word, that this Dolphin Mohawk land was peaceful and open, with plenty of room for the little machines to spread out and soak up the sun. Over time, their numbers grew. The Bots were besotten, but why I never knew.
I thought perhaps it had something to do with Artificial Intelligence, as that is a very popular buzzword lately, especially in the high tech world. However, my wife then asked how in the world would Artificial Intelligence tie together with reading my blog. Wasn’t that an oxymoron? I opened my mouth to respond, then realized she had a very good point.
Could it be some kind of devilish plot, to cozy up to me in order to gain my trust? Were they planning on hacking into my appliances, once my guard was down, and adding more machines to the Battalion of Bots, in their preparation to take over the world from those stupid humans? Or had they been unleased by a writer somewhere to search out bad writing on the web, analyze it, and then destroy it?
I’m also at a loss as to what to write to make the little fellas enjoy their time here. Humor, politics, news, and commentary are not much value. What would be of value?
“10 Easy Ways to Fix Your Bot”
“A Bot’s Guide to the Galaxy”
“Hot or Bot….The 20 sexiest Bots on the Web”
“Men are From Mars, Bots are from Botswana”
“Bots and Brain Implants – 10 Things Your Doctor Should Tell You”
“Do Flux Capacitors Affect Bots?”
“I Am Joe’s Bot”
“Introducing Connect The Bots, by Match.com”
“Dealing with Bots……..What Would Jesus Do?”
People suggest writing about what you know. Apparently I will now have to subscribe to the Bot of the Month Club, and receive one shiny new bot on my doorstep each month, courtesy of Amazon.com. Will we bond over the computer, my power cords, and the internet? Time will tell.