Bots with the Hots

robots-764951__340

It started slowly, sometime last year, with an occasional email announcing another follower. Only the user name was usually gibberish, and almost always from outlook.com. Opening the email inbox was sort of like opening that fancy wrapped present on Christmas morning, only to find it contained a single pair of white socks. Hopeful anticipation dashed by the cold water firehose of reality. The audience remained “a party of one”. No throngs of humans, hanging on my every word. Just bots. And more bots.

 

Once I got used to them, obviously they spread the word, that this Dolphin Mohawk land was peaceful and open, with plenty of room for the little machines to spread out and soak up the sun. Over time, their numbers grew. The Bots were besotten, but why I never knew.

 

I thought perhaps it had something to do with Artificial Intelligence, as that is a very popular buzzword lately, especially in the high tech world. However, my wife then asked how in the world would Artificial Intelligence tie together with reading my blog. Wasn’t that an oxymoron? I opened my mouth to respond, then realized she had a very good point.

 

Could it be some kind of devilish plot, to cozy up to me in order to gain my trust? Were they planning on hacking into my appliances, once my guard was down, and adding more machines to the Battalion of Bots, in their preparation to take over the world from those stupid humans? Or had they been unleased by a writer somewhere to search out bad writing on the web, analyze it, and then destroy it?

 

I’m also at a loss as to what to write to make the little fellas enjoy their time here. Humor, politics, news, and commentary are not much value. What would be of value?

“10 Easy Ways to Fix Your Bot”

 “A Bot’s Guide to the Galaxy”

“Hot or Bot….The 20 sexiest Bots on the Web”

“Men are From Mars, Bots are from Botswana”

“Bots and Brain Implants – 10 Things Your Doctor Should Tell You”

“Do Flux Capacitors Affect Bots?”

“I Am Joe’s Bot”

“Introducing Connect The Bots, by Match.com”

“Dealing with Bots……..What Would Jesus Do?”

 

People suggest writing about what you know. Apparently I will now have to subscribe to the Bot of the Month Club, and receive one shiny new bot on my doorstep each month, courtesy of Amazon.com. Will we bond over the computer, my power cords, and the internet? Time will tell.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Bots with the Hots”

    1. I haven’t been on wordpress for 18 days. When i checked email today I had about 16 to 18 outlook followers added. So almost one a day. There’s an additional 2 or 3 non outlook ones that may be bots too. I don’t know what the purpose of the bots is, whether they are collecting info, or what. Your description of them as “cockroaches” is right on target. Seems like WordPress needs a Roach Motel for their site.

  1. If you were to write a blog for bots, would that make you a botanist?

    I generally mark those emails as SPAM, without opening them. Doesn’t seem to have slowed ’em down any.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s