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In her kind benevolence, or perhaps just in a confused drunken stupor, J Awkward Prufrock has nominated me for a Liebster award. If you have ever wondered why “awkward”, “dating”, and “relationships” are often found inhabiting the same sentence in life, you’ll want to grab some popcorn, grab a seat, and check out her blog:

https://jawkwardprufrock.wordpress.com

Now, according to internet lore, the Liebster originated in Germany, and is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. Liebster supposedly means “dearest, kindest, nicest, lovely, pleasant, valued, cute, etc etc etc”. Really?

Of course not! If you look in the official Klaus Frankfurter Teutonic German Dictionary, you’ll find that Liebster means Hampster. Yes, hampster. Say it out loud. Liebster, hampster, liebster, hampster, liebster, hampster. See the similarity yet? Think about it. Are you always running on a wheel, never getting anywhere? Of course you are! Would a German use the words “dearest, kindest, lovely, cute”? Of course not. What words would they use?

”Dr. Schneider, I vant to conduct an experiment on hampsters who blog.”

“But Fraulein Muller, vee do not have any hampsters who blog”

“I know Herr Schneider, but vee could use Americans instead. They obediently stare at their device screens, whether at home, work, on the bus, or even walking down the street. Just like those hampsters and the sugar water experiment we did last year.”

“Ah, das is ein excellent idea, Fraulein. We shall call it….. the Liebster Experiment. They will be too lazy to check the name, and it sounds cute to the American ear. If we could only include a picture of a kitten or puppy in the logo, ve vould be in total command. But how will we motivate these bloggers? Ve cannot just send out cheese to every participant.”

“Don’t worry, Herr Schneider, they respond well to things called “followers”, and especially to something called “Likes”. And the NSA and Google are offering huge discounts on monitoring users this month.”…………….

So on to our experiment….. While she did provide a list of questions for nominees to answer, Ms. Prufrock apparently had me in mind with her question #7:

“Describe your writing in three words”. I answered with the first three that came to mind….

not very good……..

Uh, ….hmmm….awkward pause here. Maybe I should move on to my list of questions:

1) Are there any commas or exclamation marks in the Periodic Table? Or just periods?

2) Why is there so much blue sky and so little blue food?

3) How many writers do you know with logorrhea?

4)

5) Please explain why you have not answered question 4.

6) If question 1 was on a westbound train going 50 MPH from Chicago, and question 3 was on a train going 60 MPH north from Atlanta, what topping would be put on an ice cream cone made at 2pm in New York’s Central Park?

7) If you are a writer, please explain in 18 words or less how the Jurassic Period can explain the Roaring 20’s, and how Karl Marx is responsible for Global Warming.  Include footnotes.

8) Why have you still not answered question 4?

9) If red wine goes with beef, and white wine goes with fish, what beverage goes with Ben & Jerry’s?

10) Should mastication be allowed in public?

Now,dear readers,…….yes, I’m talking to both of you. Pay attention. The official Liebster rules are:

  • Link back to the person who nominated you.
  • Answer the questions given to you by the nominator.
  • Nominate up to 11 other bloggers with less than 200 followers.
  • Create 11 questions for the nominees.
  • Notify all nominees via social media/blogs.

Or, just lock the doors, draw the blinds, pull out the 12 gauge, and administer frontier justice to the the next award that comes your way. I’m not big on the 11 questions, so skip that if you wish. I think in all seriousness, the nice thing is to promote some of the blogs on WordPress that don’t get so much attention, yet are still worthwhile. Here’s a couple for you to check out, all worthwhile with under 100 followers. I will probably do another post in the future with additional ones, since I don’t want to overload people all at once.

https://fromchildtofather.wordpress.com/

Writings of an engaged, loving, supportive dad, as he journeys through fatherhood.

http://baltimoreblackwoman.com/

I stumbled onto her blog after the Baltimore riots, and stayed. Well written, well worth reading.

https://howtobe50.wordpress.com/

If you need a laugh about getting older, this might be it. Has me laughing out loud at times.

https://clcurriedotcom.wordpress.com/

Happiness is pulling out the iPad, settling down on the couch, and getting lost in one of her essays.

http://denelecampbell.com/

Part history, part crusading social justice warrior. I really enjoy reading her well researched posts.

Now, Fraulein Muller, ……when do I get my piece of cheese?…….

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